I’me waiting at the bus stop
With a telly under me arm
Driver says you can’t board with that
I said, where’s the harm
You’ll have to pay for two seats
As the telly will take up one
I said, hang on mate
You’re having a bit of fun
He says you pay for two
Otherwise you’ll have to walk
Then an old lady in the queue says
Do you mind if we have a talk
I see your telly’s black and white
We’ve an old coloured one at home
You can have it free of charge
Here’s the address its on the common
I thought that’s very handy
It’s not far from here
I can sell this one at the junk shop
And have some money for a beer
So I go’s to pick the telly up
It was just off the old king’s road
With a driveway to the front door
And plants all nicely sowed
I knocked on the big brass knocker
A gentleman opened the door
I says, I’ve come about the telly
He says wipe your feet I’ve cleaned the floor
So I followed him down the hallway
And through a door on the right
There sat in the corner
Was the telly all shiny and bright
I'me thinking that’s a very nice telly
It looks fairly new
I’ll get it home and try it
Cock a doodle doo
So I carried it out of the house
Gave the doorman a nice salute
Crikey me that’s handy
I’ve money for a beer and a new telly to boot
It’s a funny old life sometimes
When times are hard and you’re down
Someone always turns up
And gives you half a crown
So I’me back down the old bus stop
Holding me telly in front of me
The bus driver says hop in mate
You can sit that on your knee
It’s nice on top of the old bus
Travelling feet up without a load
You see some funny old sights up here
Like geezers carrying telly’s down the road
Took the lift to me high rise flat
Telly plugged in ready to go
When a knock comes on me door
It’s me nosey neighbour, so and so
You can’t watch that here me old cocker
I says what, it was given to me
He says that’s all well and good
But you need a licence from the BBC.
I’ve never heard anything like it
He says they’re not showing repeats anymore
Stop me my sides are bursting
And I can’t get up off the floor
Ha ha, ha ha, ha ha |  |
